Overcome Overwhelm – One Step At A Time

03 Feb 2012 3 Comments

by Nikki in JoyFULL Tags: , , , , , , , ,

We all have times in our lives when we just feel completely overwhelmed with a circumstance or complete set of them that all like to show up at the same time. You then throw so much negative energy at the situation, by filling yourself with feelings of fear, stress and panic that will attract more of the same, just what you don’t want!

Now in a perfect world, you would be able to just take a few deep breaths, totally relax and all our problems would just evaporate into thin air. Unfortunately for most of us this is just not a possibility as we focus on worry and what ‘might’ happen if we don’t find an instant answer.

After a very tough year, last year, I am living proof of how we can get so stuck in the negative and how all the effort that went into stressing over the circumstances, completely blocked positive solutions from flowing my way. Time does heal all wounds and thankfully my belief in finding a better way to do things, has let me heal and start to move forward.

It is possible to break free of old frustrating, debilitating situations. The major part of the work is invisible and takes place within you. It all starts by making your next thought a tiny bit happier than the last one. Then another…and another…and another….and accepting the current situation for exactly what it is and breaking it down into tiny steps that you can take to work towards a solution. We all want quick fixes but the magic does start to happen when we focus on taking a small step in the right direction and our energy focus is taking action and finding solutions.

Starting right NOW, look at the big picture of the issue at hand, and find the first tiny step that can lead towards a solution. There is SOMETHING you can do……..

  • Who can you call?
  • Who can you write too?
  • Search the web for information
  • Visit a library or bookstore and let someone else’s wisdom or knowlege guide you
  • Make an appointment with a professional that can help you
  • Who can you forgive instead of blame
  • What old stuff are you hanging on too that really should be thrown out now
  • Create a positive affirmation starting with “I am now experiencing……..” that you can repeat over and over to help stop focusing on the negative
  • Be grateful for what is good, there is always something!

Each day as you undertake a small step in the right direction and congratulate yourself for getting started, your energy is focused on moving forward and then the Universe can match your efforts with more support, opportunities and positive outcomes…….what have you got to lose??

 

My First Christmas As A Single Parent!

06 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment

by Nikki in Harmonious Home Tags: , , , , ,

It's all a balancing act!

 

Christmas is well and truly on it’s way, but this year it just does not feel the same. I usually throw myself full steam ahead into all the festivities, and even though I am trying, the joy just is not flowing freely….

After 23 years of marriage, I now find myself as a single mother of two fabulous girls, with soooooo many decisions to make, emotions to deal with and fears to face and at the same time NOT spending the festive season in a sad and sorry state!

I am very proud of myself for not completely losing it (I think I have come very close), for not resorting to medication or alcohol (was very tempted) and for learning to mow the lawn (yes in our house we had a “I clean the toilets – You mow the lawn” rule) but now I do both! The Christmas tree is up and I even put up some Christmas lights up myself (yes I did scream, shout, break a set or two, but never the less some are twinkling merrily at nightfall!

I am eternally greatful for:-

  • The support I have received from family, friends and the federal goverment!
  • We don’t have any custody issues – got that sorted!
  • Most of the time we can now talk on the phone without arguing!
  • The anger has passed and am working though sad mode now (not so painful)!
  • Realising I can survive and eventually thrive!
  • Can sleep in the middle of the bed, eat chocolate in bed and read till all hours of the night in bed!

Some of things that still need sorting:-

  • Who is buying pressies for who?
  • Are Christmas cards being sent, or is it easier not to go there this year?
  • How can dad spend some time with his girls without it being a sad occasion?
  • How do I sit at the Christmas table and not ruin everyone else’s day being sad and feeling a little lost?
  • How do I take down the Christmas lights without breaking them all????????

Even though I still love my husband, I know that we could never be happy together as a couple again. Too much damage has been done, too much pain and anger, too much not dealing with things at the time and allowing the volcano to build and then erupt, but I live in hope that this year, even though Christmas will be tough, each one after this should get easier………..