Enjoying The Single Life!

Enjoying the single life, never thought I would, but the scales are tipping!

I have been single now for 15 months after my 23 year marriage collapsed in a screaming heap….

The first 6 months were wasted crying, complaining, blaming, yelling, throwing and all that other crap that you can get involved in when your life gets thrown around like a feather in a cyclone!

But the months are rolling by, and I have not been admitted to the psych ward, got addicted to anti-depressants, thrown myself off a bridge or run away to join the nunnery….actually quite the opposite….I am really starting to enjoy my life my way!

THANKFUL THAT….

  • I get the whole bed to myself
  • I can coocoon myself in my cloud like doona and not have it stolen off me
  • I can eat M&M’s in bed, the whole damn packet if I feel like it too
  • I can read in bed with the light on
  • I can cook whatever I want for dinner
  • I don’t have to justify or explain what I did all day
  • The “Chateau de cardboard” in the fridge is NOT empty
  • The toilet seat is always DOWN
  • No more bars of soap in the shower creating scum, just beautiful shower gel
  • Complete control over the TV remote
  • The entire wardrobe is all MINE
  • I CAN have my hot pink and gold buddha sheets on the bed without feeling guilty
  • I can fill the house with the aroma of beautiful and uplifting floral pure essential oils, without the wrinkled nose reaction
  • I get to pick which lounge I sit/blob/doze on
  • BUT most importantly, I have found my voice and am learning to say what really needs to be said, rather than saying something I don’t really feel, just to keep the peace!

I have forgiven myself, released the blame, and am doing things that make ME feel happy, rather than always putting everyone else’s need in front of mine……we mum’s are really good at that. Under the circumstances I now have a calm relationship with my ex. There are no custody war’s, we sorted that ourselves, and our two fabulous daughters are happy and adjusting beautifully. I have a lot to be thankful for and refuse to spend anymore time living in the past……the future awaits.

10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Anne Aleckson
    Jun 15, 2012 @ 15:26:42

    With an attitude like that, the future is ALL YOURS. I love this post, being that I’m a single girl, having gone through the divorce and settled into single, then a 2 year full on relationship live-in that showed me I hadn’t yet given up the need to shut my authentic self down in coupledom. Lesson learned, speaking up loud and strong now and like you, ready to embrace the future. Oh and eating Jaffa’s in bed in the middle of the night lol.
    Love, Anne x

    Reply

    • Nikki
      Jun 15, 2012 @ 17:38:02

      Hi Anne,
      Havn’t gone through the divorce thing just yet, paperwork is under construction! No new partner yet, obviously not quite ready for that, but I know when the time is right all will be revealed! 🙂

      Reply

      • Guilty
        Jul 04, 2012 @ 14:19:58

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  2. Krishna Everson
    Jun 15, 2012 @ 17:07:05

    Yay Nikki! This is actually the life I crave. I LOVE living on my own. Of course, I have 2 littles (6 and 12) now, so that’s not possible! My happiest and most peaceful time was when I had a unit of my very own. I just look at it as a chapter. Here’s to happy, regardless of where we find ourselves!!

    Reply

    • Nikki
      Jun 15, 2012 @ 17:35:10

      Thanks Krishna,
      I didn’t choose it and didn’t really see it happening BUT the universe threw it at me, with just enough power for me to take the plunge. My girls are 16 and 13 and have been absolutely amazing, coming through all this beautifully. It’s been very tough, but I know it is all going to be worth it! Wishing you happiness too 🙂

      Reply

  3. Rodney Bukuya
    Jun 15, 2012 @ 17:41:24

    Me too Krishna,

    My single time between the breakup of my last relationship and the introduction of my future wife, was the most peaceful of my life.

    I enjoyed the time to myself, I enjoyed having complete control over choice of residence, holidays, movies, activities, work schedule etc etc. The time for you to move onto the next chapter of your life will come but for now, as they say wherever you are be there.

    much love

    Rod

    Reply

    • Nikki
      Jun 16, 2012 @ 14:26:49

      I am staying this way for now Rod, do not mind at all if I never marry again, don’t need a ring on my finger for me to be complete 🙂

      Reply

  4. Vanessa
    Jun 15, 2012 @ 20:49:28

    I’ve been single (by choice and sometimes circumstance) for YEARS. Honestly ? I was (and still am) too focused on building my empire (insert evil laugh here)… nah, seriously ? I was just busy with my business … the highs, lows, etc. I didn’t really have ‘time’ to ‘date’ or get involved in ‘the dating game’ etc.

    Plus I’m also still trying to figure what the hell do I want in a partner.. I still don’t know… I don’t want to attract the wrong person after my last relationship !

    Personally, I like being in a share-house arrangement as a single girl … it allows me the “social” aspect that share-housing has (I’ve been lucky with good flatmates) so keeps loneliness at bay. Oh.. and let’s not forget my kitty cat Marnie too !

    One of the huge benefits being single has given me that I’m thankful for every day is the fact that I don’t have to apologise for my ambitions.. my dreams for my business… I can be focused on it as I’ve no kids (besides my kitty cat) and no relationship.

    Reply

    • Nikki
      Jun 16, 2012 @ 14:24:32

      Thanks Vanessa,
      I met my ex when I was only 18, so had very little experience of being on my own. So at 46 it was a mega shock to the system to be in that position again. I do have kids but they are awesome and old enough to allow me some freedom of movement. I really do enjoy doing exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it, I really did not realise how much I didn’t do, to avoid being considered silly or dreaming! Got a gorgeous fluff ball too, Miss Tiger is our chief executive fur ball 🙂

      Reply

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